Long Over Do Post... Man-up you Intern!

Well a lot has changed in the last 3 years. My girl friend Erika is now my wife. I am no longer an intern but a youth minister. I'm no longer at Christ Fellowship West Kendall I am at Christ Fellowship Homestead serving as the Director of Students for both Middle School and High School Ministries. Being an intern at Christ Fellowship really helped me man up. It was the hardest and must grueling time of my entire life because of the work weekly work load... but the sense of urgency I gained and my passion to attempt great things for God will stick with me forever. I know I've said it a lot of times in real life but I should say it here now. Christ Fellowship Miami is a great church, with great leadership. It's not a perfect church but there is no such thing as a perfect church. This was where I was saved, discipled, and raised up to be a minister. If you are a young person thinking about joining vocational ministry I would suggest doing an internship before attending bible college/seminary. It'll let you get a feel for the ministry lifestyle and help you confirm your calling. And if during your internship it starts getting difficult and you start being challenged. I would say "suck it up" and finish your internship whether it be for 3 months, 6 months, or 2 years (most internships tell you how long they are going to be and you make a commitment to be there for that long). I've met far to many people who vow to be in an internship for a year and after 3 to 6 months they feel "called" to go serve in another ministry "right away!" It's funny how that "calling" usually comes when things are getting difficult in the internship, like when they've just been rebuked for something, or when there is a high expectation for them to preform. I did a 2 year internship at Christ Fellowship under Todd Breiner and Anthony Spallone at Eric Geigers church and my experience there is worth more than a 4 years BA in Christian Ministry. Just some food for thought for future interns. And if you are currently and intern I would suggest reminding yourself of the Gospel, and how Jesus suffered for the sake of the minister. That he was beaten and bruised and crucified to do the work of God. If Jesus could die for you, you as an unmarried man can die to yourself and fulfill your word and finish your internship.

No knows what I’m feeling no one knows what I think.
I keep my own counsel, because the whole body is weak.

Can we reach post-modernity with our yuppie feel good songs with no theological depth we sing in our churches today? Even in seekers churches? It sucks that the secular music i listen to is more authentic then a lot of the worship we here in our churches.

Do we really want to see conversion?

Man I realize that I sometimes spending more effort in ministry then I do trying to get closer to God. And I spend more time doing ministry then missionally engaging those around me to see lives get changed. Like I'll preach several times a week to people who I'm building relationships with who don't know Jesus, but what about the people who I'm friends with who don't know Jesus?

The Jehovah Witnesses came by my house today and I was spending time with my girl friend watching the new Batman.

Man I did the whole Apologetic Argument against their faith and spoke of the deity of Christ to them, and did a good job at doing it, but it did nothing. And look when I witness to people who belong to cults, and atheists, and even people who HATE MY GOD I show them love. These conversations are to save, not to defend myself or to defend God, but to bring him glory and to show the lost the forgiveness of God.

So I ran out of money this week because I'm sticking to a budget now. i tithe first, then save, then keep the rest for my week. I usually spend the most of my money on food so on Thursday when I spent the last of my money on gas I haven't bought food since, yet I've eaten well for every meal. On Friday I preached at a Private School in Hialeah and they gave me lunch and a snack. When I went to my meeting out outback for training I stuffed myself with shrimp and crab. At the ministry rally last night i ate a burrito, and this morning I ate breakfast at Don Robsons house. So now i'm challenging myself to not spend any money on food for as long as I possibly can. Lets see how long I go.

Man God is good, been a real bad last couple of days. Really wretched guys. I feel a weight on me to preach and to see lives changed. I feel a message cooking inside of me for this private school I am invited to this week to preach at. I have no idea how many students are there, but I feel like God is birthing something in me, that is not of me so that I cannot boast, that will glorify him. Even if no lives are changed I feel an almost unbearable stress about what I'm going to say.

Cynicism and Christianity are the only things I can convert people to. Cynicism is me seeing a world empty of hope when my mind gets the best of my hearts. When I close my eyes so that I might look for satisfaction in poetry. I'm the worst poet that I know. Christ can only bring people to himself. Only he can save, without him my words are foolish as I preach to men who are already dead. Men who on their best days are as senile as nursing home patients on their last days. I cannot hope in anything but my God. FUNCTIONALLY:I sometimes don't believe in the power of prayer. I realize this because I look at my actions. I wonder why he doesn't answer my prayers... but i realize that sometimes I'm not praying... woe is to me as I die and try to give life to dead men. I'm hungry and my soul is frail cause I'm hungry yet I seek to feed others while I myself am dying.

I can't even convert people to Christianity. Only Disciples as jacked as I am on my own. "Say this prayer and be a baptist" is the closest we can get. Cynicism infects my mind as Christ rescues me from certain death, he gave his all until there was nothing left. Christ saves, he is our hope, his election, his purpose, his Love.

Peace and Love is me spreading empty promises and empty faith unless that hope is Christ. Unless that hope is Christ I'm a rambling fool.